Blue Balls!!!

Have you ever been with someone and the desire was soo strong you just know that it was goin' down. But unfortunately it DIDNT!!! Well Blue Balls is what you get if you a male. The blood rushes to ya Member and all the juices start to flow cuz you grindin, kissin, feelin her up then all of a sudden you are interrupted. Now is not the time to have an interruption without an 'E'ruption. As if the feelin in your stomach aint enough cuz you just realized it's NOT goin down, but now you got this feelin in ya Balls like you bout to pass gas. When you get up to walk there aint no remedy. You walkin like you steppin on egg shells, ever so careful. All you really need to do is just Buss, but that aint bout to happen cuz your mind is still in 'Freak' mode.

Ladies, what happens to you when your body is at it's peak and nothing happens?

911 is a joke?

I've caught many stories recently, in which, folks have been abusing the police system by calling 911, undeservingly. They've ranged in ridiculousness.

This morning I was intrigued by a story of a 66 year old Florida man who was jailed for calling 911...get this...because a drive thru was out of lemonade! Bwahahahahhaahahahahahaaaa

Now, I'm assuming that this man was "in his right mind" as he is permitted to operate a vehichle. So, this leads me to believe that this man was (a) EXTREMELY high or (b) thirsty as hell. Whatever the case may be, he clearly has a strong liking of lemonade and was PISSED that he couldn't get it.

This morning I'm thinking how nice it would be if I could call the police because SOMETHING has pissed me off (and not suffer any consequences). I would definitely call 911:

On my coworker for not getting the bottoms of her pants tailored. I have YET to see her shoes.

On OASDI for taking taxes out my check.

On my alarm clock for waking my ass up in the morning.

On my alarm clock for NOT waking my ass up in the morning.

On clothing designers that insist that I wear a size {number removed}. I clearly am a size 4!!! Stop laughing.

On my job for being far!

On the next coworker to point out how big my ass is in my pants.

On the media for this Chrihanna coverage.

On my children for repeatedly calling my name.

On my boo for not paying me enough attention.

On everyone that doesn't pay me a LOT of attention.

On this creepy guy staring for paying TOO much attention.

On my WORK for not doing itself so I can blog!!!!!!!!

Who you reporting??????????

Black History Month

What African American had the greatest influence on you? A civil rights leader, parent(s), local community activist, inventor, Politician, Reverend, Patent Pending, Artist?

Who do you want to recognize as an influential figure in your life?

ColdPlay dresses as Cereal?

Last night while watching those Grammys…LOL…I had an overwhelming urge to indulge in Rice Krispies. I blame the stylist of Cold Play. I was also utterly confused about what they were so worked up about? Falling out on the ground? Sweating like Richard Simmons? Maybe my sound was on delay?

Katy Perry was another fashion faux pas! I Kissed a Girl…but did you drown her in a fruit salad? http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/food/fruit_bowl440.jpg I’m also quite convinced that she was recreating Brit Brits ever-so-famous “comeback. I mean REALLY? Sometimes it’s okay not to dance.

Kanye, Kanye Kanye? Aside from the fact that he was getting his 80s Peobo Bryson on

http://assets.mog.com/amg/pop/cov200/drd100/d109/d10921vu1o1.jpg

I was kinda proud that he didn’t have one of his annual “fits”! I, do, admit that I was quite boggled by his performance with Estelle. It was almost as if they snuck that performance in before presenting their award.

I was LOVING the Jonas Brothers. They are going to go far!

I gotta get some work done….

I’ll continue in a few!

Winter Weight/Wait

We all know that when Winter comes around so do the Pounds. You gots Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years all within a month of each other. And some of us have Birthdays in there as well. Needless to say we puts on Weight that must be kept warmed with our Winter Outfits. Did I mention office parties and the Superbowl as well? Is it by nature (think Bears) that we put this weight on or do we just get greedy cuz it aint nothing really nothing we can do to exercise. Then for those of us who are at least making an attempt to stay in shape, we have the Winter Wait! Winter Wait is when you have to wait till spring to come in order to start a workout regimen.

What you Weightin For?

The Art of Facebook Mackin'

We’ve all seen it. The resident FB body who often has NO picture or just one picture on their profile. There are no wall posts or status updates and the info section generally says “ask me”.

He/she is a FB Mack.

This individual NEVER comments on your status; instead, they send responses directly to your inbox or “chats you up”. The message titles are usually “Hi”, “Hey”, or “What’s up”. Messages are generally short and possibly filled with unnecessary slang. “What’s wrong, Ma”? “If I were your man, Hun”! “Can I get to know you sweetie”?

The FB mack never wants to be tagged in photos. It’s proof of where he’s been and who he knows.

The FB mack “friend surfs”. He/she has often found you on another person’s page and is known to lurk comments that you post elsewhere.

The FB mack quite often is listed as “In a relationship” and sometimes has a link to said significant other.

The FB mack is ALWAYS communicate via FB Mobile…cuz he/she is always on the go.

These are just a FEW of MY telltale signs…have you seen this Mack?

Take One for the Team!!

Have you ever went out on a date with a person that you were doing a 'Favor' for? Call it a Blind date or maybe it was someone that was attracted to you but you definitely was attracted to. Anyway how do you convince yourself that you gonna do it ONLY cuz you gonna take this one for the team. And what does the 'Team' have to do with your personal preference?

Tell me your 'Team' story.

Grown and Grown!!!

Is being grown all that you thought it would be? I know when I was growin up as an adolescent the only thing I could think of was Not doing what my parents say. I couldn't wait till I was 'Grown' to do MY thang. Now that I'm grown I start to realize that it changes your whole perspective on life. Things have changed dramatically. I find myself having the mindset of my parents.

When I get 'free' time all I wanna do is lay around the house and watch T.V. (maybe cuz it's winter time).

I find myself saying the songs that are sampled in today's music. I know the 'Original' to songs that are remade.

The mailbox is the most un-anticipated place to go when I get home.

Thinkin bout groceries 1-3 times a week is a part of my life's meaning.

Goin out to clubs is a disappointment waiting to happen cuz them same Ni99uhs and Ni99rettes are still there lookin like an incest family.

Spirituality has more meaning now.

Memories of times past are becoming 20 year anniversaries. 10 years ago was 1999 and everyone was panicked over the Year 2000 computation scare. When people went out to buy water, tape and other nonsense (I wonder if they've used it up already)

Getting a Job was just a matter of gettin off ya Arse and sayin 'I want to work'.

You find yourself sayin' Damn!! Yo Arse is gettin old! to babies who are now teenagers then you realize the older they get the older YOU get.

Its HUMP day

What's on ya mind?

LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!!!!!!!!

Admit it! You were just as curious as I was. I fought and toyed with the idea of NOT watching; yet, my interest was piqued.

I thought he was handsome some 20 years ago acting alongside of Sinbad. I found him to be an adorable “annoying little brother” as the years progressed. Jammed to his music and still kept an “awwwwwwwww” in the back of my mind. I mean he is a cutie in a “Brandy’s Brother” kinda way.

For the Love of Ray-J!!!!! That alone makes me giggle! I’m really LinOL as I type.

It was amazing! I could not get the sound of Stewart (from Mad TV) outta my head! LOOK WHAT I CAN DO! In fact, I’m thinking that these reality love show should just be called, such.

My take on last nights show.

1. I thought it was truly odd interesting that the show started with a Ray-J concert. I mean if you’re going to question these chicks motives for being on the show…we need to look at yours. Ray? Are you looking for love? LLS – I don’t think so!

2. Is anyone REALLY looking for love on this show. They can fake ALL they want to…them bytches came to screw! It’s a BONUS that it isn’t Flav. They saw that damned tape!

3. Face tattoos? Not hot at all; however, by the end of the show…I was kinda thinking that the chick wasn’t as dumb as she looked (with a tattoo on her face). She actually started to appear somewhat attractive to me. IJS?

4. WET N WAVY TRACKS AND DRAWN ON EYEBROWS ARE ALWAYS A NO NO! I do not care what Ki Ki and them told you or how GOOT they hooked you up! You should be Searchin for a Stylist and not Lookin for Love!

5. What is a God Sister? LLS…stop it!

6. These women appear to be AWFULLY fond of each other. Am I trippin?

7. WTH is wrong with the lighting? Why does it look so different than all the other “of Love” series. Is this one supposed to be more grown up?

8. What is a God Sister? Vh1 is making ya’ll look STUPID!

9. What is an Atomic Bomb…CLASSIC shyt right there! LMAO I think reality tv has proven that it is much more common than not to “be just a pretty face”. Poor thing.

10. Since WHEN was Chardonnay “such a classy drink”? I’d think it’s the most COMMON white wine and that you didn’t have time to research and find something else to say.

11. If someone doesn’t pull that Genuine girl’s wig forward????? OOOOHHHHHHH…imam fight them!

I don’t even wanna talk about this anymore! LMAO…I gots work ta do!

S.H.H.H.H. - School of Hip Hop Hip Hop

Welcome class. Glad you could join me in your endeavor to become more educated on Hip Hop. As you all know, Hip Hop is a lost art. There are maybe 5 Hip Hop artists to date that are still pushing out the music. A lot of you may be wondering why I say this, well if you really look at the lyrics of today you'll understand why 'RAP' isn't considered Hip Hop. Rap has evolved to basically a catchy hook with catchy music and/or samples of 'Real' music. Some of you have grown up listening to Snoop, Luda, Outkast, T-Pain, Lil Boosie and the like and thinkin you was up on the Music tip. But I'm here to let you know that that music is just sampled beated up 808 music with nothing but catchy hook phrases. Real Hip Hop had a message, a thought, a story that captured your mind to want to do better and in some cases 'BE'. Now lyrical conscientiousness is what Hip Hop was about. 'It's not about a salary it's all about reality'. That right there speaks volumes. Todays' artists are strictly about a salary, they just express it in the form of Louis XII, bling, rims, cars, hoes, G5s, black cards etc. Not once do they mention, homelessness, Government, environment, economic displacement, poverty, high school drop outs, suicide rate. This is REALITY! That is what needs to be put on a record (record is what youngins calls CD or mp3). When was the last time your listened to Pete Rock and CL Smooth's T.R.O.Y.? If it wasn't for VH1's Hip Hop Honors these artists would be long forgotten. And why do you think I posted Big Daddy Kane? Well dwell on this verse..

Rappers stepping to me they want to get some
But I'm the Kane, so yo, you know the outcome
Another victory
They can't get with me
So pick a BC date cause you're history
I'm the authentic poet to get lyrical
For you to beat me, it's gonna take a miracle
And, stepping to me, yo that's the wrong move
So what you on, Hobbs, dope or dog food?
Competition I just devour
Like a pitbull against a Chihuahua
Cause when it comes to being dope, hot damn
I got it good, now let me tell you who I am
The B-I-G D-A-double D-Y K-A-N-E
Dramatic, Asiatic, not like many
I'm different, so don't compare me to another
Cause they can't hang, word to the mother
At least not with the principal in this pedigree
So when I roll on you rappers, you better be
Ready to die because you're petty
You're just a butter knife, I'm a machete
That's made by Ginzu, wait until when you
Try to front, so I can chop into
Your body, just because you try to be basing
Friday the 13th, I'mma play Jason
No type of joke, gag, game, puzzle or riddle
The name is Big Daddy, yes Big not little
So define it
Here's your walking papers, sign it
And take a walk
As the Kane start to talk, cause...