Monday, June 29, 2009

BET Award Tweets

This is my take on that show....in REALTIME! LOL

RT @trayceejackson: good heavens - where is neyo's hat???? RIGHT!!! from UberTwitter

*tears* from UberTwitter

Wtf? from UberTwitter

Gruzilla baby! from UberTwitter

Aiiight I'm no longer watching the awards I'm watchin the @lilduval and @drydickdonnie show! Ya'll should, too! from UberTwitter

RT @lilduval: if u still watching the bet awards your bored as shit and lonely <---IM OFFICIALLY DEAD and need a tribute! LMAO from UberTwitter

RT @tabiBonney: Let us all be thankful that the O jays nvr did crack.They look & sound way bttr than GUY & theyr like 50yrs <-but drunk! LLS from UberTwitter

Eddie been drankin out tpain red cup from UberTwitter

I'm sho don need his pamper changed by now...BOOOO gtfo the stage! WRAP IT UP BOX!!!! from UberTwitter

Does don know where he is? Get to the moral of the story from UberTwitter

Again I say HOT DAMN @songzyuuup. *sheesh* from UberTwitter

RT @tabiBonney: Johnny Gill is an intense slave. Wahahahahaaaa! from UberTwitter

@songzyuuup can DEF get it every day of the week and 7 times on sunday!!!!!! from UberTwitter

RT @Wale: im sittin in front of tatyana ali..its taking alot of self control for me not to say "happy brthday ashley" while tevns on stge..l from UberTwitter

RT @drydickdonnie: i cant believe don cornelious came back from da dead to do da BET AWARDS <--he was just whoopin his woman ass last year! from UberTwitter

Don cornelius whooped a bitch ass...why HE there? from UberTwitter

That bish got a jheri curl mohawk and Jay z teef. from UberTwitter

RT @trayceejackson: RT @cthagod Joe Jackson look like the Grinch that Stole MJ's childhood....---------- DAYUM. Wahahahahahahahaaa!!! from UberTwitter

RT @mikey504: RT @Tre_B: joe jackson looks like the villain off the mask....when he put the mask on. Yaw dumb as shat!!! from UberTwitter

RT @solangeknowles: Loving these BET tweets. Comedy. COSIGN!!!!!! from UberTwitter

Monica is THAT BISH!!!!!!! from UberTwitter

Neyo looks like a dick! from UberTwitter

RT @FaithFulRoyalty: Aaron Hall looks like Eddie Cain in 5 Heartbeats lol. Wahahahahahahaaa from UberTwitter

Punch a bitch like this? Can't be right! from UberTwitter

Awwwwww shat big butt and smile shakin! from UberTwitter

RT @trayceejackson: keith sweats hype man looks a MESS!!!!!!!! Uh? I can't imagine that job pays well! Bwahaha KS hype man! from UberTwitter

My daughte said she wants keith sweat off stage from UberTwitter

RT @drydickdonnie: i need a girl dat got her own cause i aint got shit. Wahahahahahahaha....I'm bout ta UNFOLLOW his ass b4 I DIE laffin!!! from UberTwitter

Fuck off at awl yall that's hatin on my future stalkin victim Jame Foxx from UberTwitter

RT @questlove: RT @dreamhampton: RT @basseyworld @jcedric81 I wish BET died and MJ did a tribute to them...... LMATFO from UberTwitter

RT @drydickdonnie: a diva is a female version of a stuck up bitch. Wahahahahahaaa from UberTwitter

She should punch her in da face fa tellin her bizness from UberTwitter

She had a baby? from UberTwitter

Uh? I was ready to do the beyonce booty shake...now I need to repent! from UberTwitter

Tpain fitna be TWISTED!!!! Where he get a cookout cup? from UberTwitter

Yeah swag is on but I wish his mic was OFF!!!!! from UberTwitter

Tiny and Toya are gettin PUNKED! They aint gettin no show! They gon be a showcase of HOT GHETTO MESS! from UberTwitter

Traaaaaavis!!!!!!!! from UberTwitter

Owwwwwww....I LOVE his ASS!!! from UberTwitter

RT @trayceejackson: i cannot believe joe jackson came 2 the awards - im sorry but his ass needs 2 be HOME!!!!!!!!!!!! He lookin fa bishes! from UberTwitter

FUCK NE-YO!!!!!! Bring out Ike...I mean Chris Brown!!!!!! from UberTwitter

In the words of that dude. WTF is Keri Hilson?????? Lmao from UberTwitter

RT @lilduval: And I thought Bobby brown was Tito Jackson fat as he got. Wahahahahahaa! RIGHT! Thought he was my baby daddy! from UberTwitter

@bahama I would BREATHE ALL on em! Lls from UberTwitter

@trayceejackson and @bahama yall KNOW I LOVE that man! SHAAAAATTTTT!!! Jamie!!!!!!!!!!!!!! from UberTwitter

I LOVE U JAMIE!!!!!!!!!! from UberTwitter

Awww hell they sound BAD! from UberTwitter

New edition. Owwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!! from UberTwitter

Owwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!! from UberTwitter

Brian from Day 26 CSGI!!!!!! from UberTwitter

My bad! Nobody CGI. Lls. @trayceejackson. What I say? from UberTwitter

Marlon wayans can SHOLEY GET IT!!!!!!! from UberTwitter

Why boyfriend#2s dancers look like they bouta do laundry in jail? from UberTwitter

My vodka is gone! Boooooooo from UberTwitter

Just saw @lalavasquez on the red carpet GLAM! from UberTwitter

Monday, May 11, 2009

Kiss and MAKE UP sex!!!!

Do I have to GRAB the back of your neck to make you listen to me?

Temperatures are rising. Tongues are lashing. Emotions are at an all time high. Fury, coupled with passion get the best of you and the tone takes a drastic turn, for the better?

What IS it about make up sex that is so thrilling? The intensity? The comfort of knowing that your "sweetie" is STILL your "sweetie? The subtle combination of love and hate?

I dunno...but i'm READY to pick a fight!


Thursday, May 7, 2009

The TRUTH about the Friend Zone

"I LOVE you, but I'm NOT IN love with you"

THEE dreaded words that ultimately confine you to dun, dun, dun THE FRIEND ZONE!

From the female perspective, I must say that the proverbial leap from the friend zone to relationship is a task that, most often, is NOT going to happen. In fact, I believe that the friend zone is NOT the percieved "relationship purgatory" that women market it as. Instead, its Hell - THE FIERY pits of it.

First off, if you've been put "in the friend zone" its safe to assume that you have made your interest known. By ACCEPTING your placement "on the bench" you have relinquished ALL power. You're a puppet. AND YOU WILL DANCE!

You get the calls in time of need. You do the dirty work. You partake in all of the things that "relationship guy" isn't going to touch. He's never going to touch it either, not as long as you are hanging in the shadows. THAT female knows the power that she has over you and she is going to use it to her advantage, albeit sometime its not intentional. YOU are her "friend". You care for her. You will be there. THAT'S what friends are for!

Now? We see TFZ romanticized often; however, I am here to tell you. Lurking in the friend zone for the perfect opportunity to sweep ya gal pal off her feet is not romantic - its predatory and definitely playing with fire! The fact is, the moment you hop off that bench, become the shoulder to cry on, and jump into a physical relationship (under false pretenses) you are no longer "the friend" you are "the rebound man" - which is an entirely different story.

I could go on & on about TFZ...

Let's get it crackin! What are your thoughts?

Monday, May 4, 2009


Boy, am I glad I didn’t pay for THAT SHAT?

I’m grateful that someone else did, though. It was AMAZING. 2 minutes and 58 seconds of pure AZZ whooping! I really thought Hatton was DEAD!

As I sat on the couch, minorly buzzed, I began to think of all the things that I had done that night that lasted LONGER than Hatton’s ass!
It took longer than 3 minutes for me to:
Get dressed to go TO the fight party
GET to the fight party
POUR my drink at the fight party
DRINK my drink at the fight party
Update my Facebook status approxiomately 332 times
Take my SHOES off at the fight party. SIDEBAR: Why black folks always want you take your shoes off in their house? But the carpet ain’t even clean? Please take your CARPET off!

What’s YOUR take? NOT on the carpet? LOL

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Wanted: Write your Classified

Carmen Cosmo is ISO:

A 5 bedroom home that cleans itself. Must perform electroshock therapy on smart mouth children for THINKIN about doing wrong.

Home should self stock itself with steaks, batteries, and champagne. Should also have self camoflauge abilities to dodge ALL bills and unwanted guests (particularly bill collectors).

Willing to pay up to 7mil...after self camo abilities are proven!

CarmenCosmo lists herself:

Are you in the market for a modern day Stepford wife? This 2010 model: cooks, cleans, nurses, brings home the bacon AND satisfies!

I take GREAT pride in making my man happy, to the fullest! Wanna watch the game? No problem! Wanna hang out with the fellas? NO problem! Matter of fact...invite the fellas over! I LOVE to cater to my man AND his friends.

Call me your homie lover friend!

Interested individuals are free to inquire within.

*Must mention, said model has a HEAVY alcohol intake and is liable to say ANYTHING when inebriated. Previous info should not be perceived as factual!


Friday, April 17, 2009

Promise me you won't get mad.

Aint this some sh!t? Here it is, you know the information you about to get is gonna make you mad. Whenever those words come out it instantly makes your being unsettled and upset. Regardless of if you promise or not, you gonna get mad. How can you expect a person not to get mad? It's obvious that the person knows you well enough to know what ticks you off. This to me is the 'Ultimate Cop Out!'

And why is it that the person has convinced themselves that you 'shouldn't really be mad' cuz they bein' honest?

What's your take?

Friday, April 10, 2009


Don't you wish you had a Dummy to talk to all the Dummies you come in contact with. Just think, whenever somebody come at you with a stupid question, observation or look the Dummy automatically says what's on YOUR mind.

Here some phrases the Dummy would use in Response:
"Don't you see HE workin'?"
"Now's not a good time"
"Didn't He give that answer already?"
"Are you sure you wanna do that?"
"Can't you see HE eatin'? He don't come at you desk askin you questions during lunch do HE?"
"You might want to do some'n bout that 'friend' you got hangin in ya nose!"
"You know what, HE didn't speak to you earlier. Let's keep it that way. BYE!!!"
"NO!!! HE already said he got plans for lunch!!!"
"If HIS music too loud, maybe you aint focused enough on ya work"
"Sho Wuz!!! That's what you heard!!! HE said NIGGA!!! WHAT?!??!?!"