"I LOVE you, but I'm NOT IN love with you"
THEE dreaded words that ultimately confine you to dun, dun, dun THE FRIEND ZONE!
From the female perspective, I must say that the proverbial leap from the friend zone to relationship is a task that, most often, is NOT going to happen. In fact, I believe that the friend zone is NOT the percieved "relationship purgatory" that women market it as. Instead, its Hell - THE FIERY pits of it.
First off, if you've been put "in the friend zone" its safe to assume that you have made your interest known. By ACCEPTING your placement "on the bench" you have relinquished ALL power. You're a puppet. AND YOU WILL DANCE!
You get the calls in time of need. You do the dirty work. You partake in all of the things that "relationship guy" isn't going to touch. He's never going to touch it either, not as long as you are hanging in the shadows. THAT female knows the power that she has over you and she is going to use it to her advantage, albeit sometime its not intentional. YOU are her "friend". You care for her. You will be there. THAT'S what friends are for!
Now? We see TFZ romanticized often; however, I am here to tell you. Lurking in the friend zone for the perfect opportunity to sweep ya gal pal off her feet is not romantic - its predatory and definitely playing with fire! The fact is, the moment you hop off that bench, become the shoulder to cry on, and jump into a physical relationship (under false pretenses) you are no longer "the friend" you are "the rebound man" - which is an entirely different story.
I could go on & on about TFZ...
Let's get it crackin! What are your thoughts?
12 comments:
It depends on WHY you put him in the friend zone doh. Was it because you got turned off by somethng he did or because you just didn't have space and time for him....I think dudes with enough diligence and persistance can get off the bench....lol
See...i dont been the brother that is "lets be friends first". I'm talkin about the dude that has been there forever...during bfs, split ups, and such.
His ass aint never getting off the bench! And if he does...you just gon put him RIGHT back...cuz he's the "rebound man"
LOL
uh?
i meant "mean"
LOL
I no longer want to be your friend. :-(
No, seriously, I was under the impression that a woman wanted a man as a provider, protector, AND friend. Excuse me if I'm wrong. It seems to me, according to your opinion, that women are users more so than men. If you have RG (Relationship Guy) to be the provider and protector, then you have FG (Friend Guy) to go have drinks with (you drunk), aren't you a user? If you are aware of a friends intentions and he doesn't fit your bill but you keep him around for emotional reasons aren't you cheating on RG wit FG?
I KNEW this would get interesting.
LOL
Again...I'm saying the guy that's just there! That you KNOW has feelings for you but you've put him in the "friend category".
You may very well respect him as the friend...but IMO it will NEVER take that leap. Not for the good. For several reasons. YOU KNOW...I keep a slew of male "friends" but I respect the boundaries (now) I learned the hard way!
Sometimes ppl are better friends than RG....crossing the boundaries could potentially ruin eveything and for some there is no going back from that place! Others can move past it like it never happened.
Agreed!
The RG is being cheated if a woman has an emotional relationship with another man. Having male friends to talk to about your man OR other aspects of your life is not appropriate that is why you have girlfriends.
Strongly disagree Chris.
My best friend is a man. A straight man! No sexual tensions there at all.
We share a lot! Wouldn't trade him for the world!
The RG can't be cheated if he is in TFZ....
you can't talk to most of your girlfriends about your man problems they tell you some BS that they don't even do themselves. The male perspective can be helpful in a manner of understand the way your man thinks
If it's a true male Friend..they will never tell you what to do but rather guide you to trust your own instincts and support you!
"he" meaning FG
AGREED, again!
My male bestie NEVER tells me what to do. He may ask questions that force me to answer my own uncertainties but NEVER says "you need to" or "don't do".
I also don't consider him to be in TFZ.
TFZ is more of a place that you are holding someone that may have feelings (sexual or emotional) for you. IMO
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