Top 5 Reasons I HATE the Metro: Today

Okay, so the Metro has its pluses; however, lately I have been forced to observe ALL of the reasons why Metro is not my friend.

5. Punctuality - Metro clearly has a blatant disrespect for me being on time. When I'm on time - they're LATE. When I'm late - They're LATE AS HEL. When I'm early - well...shyt i'm SURE they'd find some way to EFF that up, too!

4. Tourist - enough said! My black ass is trynna get to work. You're pissin me off with your FBI hats and cameras flashing! Why are you even up and out at this time? SHEESH

3. Escalators - Dawg? You may as well just call them stairs! They are never functioning in the direction that I want to go in. Up or Down? LOL, though it's nothing like arriving at a Metro station with a 2,000 foot ascent and seeing it not functioning. Shouts of SHIIT! FUUGGGG THIS! AWWWWW MAAAAAN! are hilarious!

2. Lap Dancers - Man? you know you got a big ass! I GOT a big ass! Why do you wanna come sit right HERE???? Get up OFF my lap!

1. Gas - Anonymous gas. You can't hold that shyt in? Once those doors close...we ALL trapped and suffocated! Then it leaves you playin the guessing game...Who Dealt it???? Who tends to get blamed? The person with the biggest butt, right? NOT good for me if I'm standing!

Ugh!