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Showing posts with label WTF?. Show all posts
Showing posts with label WTF?. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

911 is a joke?


I've caught many stories recently, in which, folks have been abusing the police system by calling 911, undeservingly. They've ranged in ridiculousness.

This morning I was intrigued by a story of a 66 year old Florida man who was jailed for calling 911...get this...because a drive thru was out of lemonade! Bwahahahahhaahahahahahaaaa

Now, I'm assuming that this man was "in his right mind" as he is permitted to operate a vehichle. So, this leads me to believe that this man was (a) EXTREMELY high or (b) thirsty as hell. Whatever the case may be, he clearly has a strong liking of lemonade and was PISSED that he couldn't get it.

This morning I'm thinking how nice it would be if I could call the police because SOMETHING has pissed me off (and not suffer any consequences). I would definitely call 911:

On my coworker for not getting the bottoms of her pants tailored. I have YET to see her shoes.

On OASDI for taking taxes out my check.

On my alarm clock for waking my ass up in the morning.

On my alarm clock for NOT waking my ass up in the morning.

On clothing designers that insist that I wear a size {number removed}. I clearly am a size 4!!! Stop laughing.

On my job for being far!

On the next coworker to point out how big my ass is in my pants.
On the media for this Chrihanna coverage.

On my children for repeatedly calling my name.

On my boo for not paying me enough attention.

On everyone that doesn't pay me a LOT of attention.

On this creepy guy staring for paying TOO much attention.

On my WORK for not doing itself so I can blog!!!!!!!!

Who you reporting??????????

Thursday, January 29, 2009

WTF Friday?????


So….its Friday, AGAIN…and I’m pondering the many questions of life! LOL, such as:

WTF??????


WTF can’t I get to work on time – no matter HOW early I get up?

WTF is there always someone on the train HOGGIN a seat. Your water did NOT pay a fare!

WTF do people schedule early morning meetings on Friday? Don’t they know Thursday is drankin night?

WTF can’t I quit FaceBook?

WTF do people insist on talking to me early in the morning?

WTF does the Real Chance at Love reunion come on every night? 5 times?

WTF do I watch it EVERY time?

WTF is the purpose of a 5 day workweek?

WTF is this on the bottom of my jeans?

WTF are people in this office so loud?

WTF do people insist on putting shyt in my inbox?

WTF do people want to share their issues…they GOTTA know I’m not listening?

WTF am I gonna get some? UGH!

WTF is on YOUR mind?

Hand Me a Clock?



Reality TV has been suggested to me a MULTITUDE of times; however, never quite as OFFENSIVE as what I'm about to tell ya.


I was having, what seemed to be, a perfectly normal conversation with my current love interest. Real Chance at Love was on my television. (It wasn’t doing a very good job of keeping my attention, I might add). That’s when he said it! “Why don’t you go on one of those”?



WTF?????????


Did I miss something?

So I investigate further by asking “WHY on EARTH would I need to do that”? He responds, “To get your blog going”?

Are we serious? Really? Now I know that Patent and I are the only folks that comment on our blog BUT we’ve only given the address to one person.




THESE are all things that I’d rather do than EXPLOIT myself and family because I want attention:


NOT blog while at work

Pay my taxes

Eat with Anthony Bourdain

Go on tour with Souljah Boy

BUY a Souljah Boy album

DATE Souljah Boy

Vote Republican

Count my eyelashes

Pay child support

Pay spousal support

Take out the trash

Bathe in the trash

Loan my vagina to Pam Anderson (she gets it in)

Diet with Nicole Ritchie

NOT blog at work

DO SOME WORK

Clip my grandma’s toenails (she asks)

Befriend Danny Bonaduce

Give up my Blackberry

Keep up with the Jackson’s noses

Keep up with Lil Kim’s noses

Do Jim Jones’ laundry

Piss off Kanye

Ponder life w/ Lil Wayne

Be Bobby Brown



…and that’s just off the top of my head!

UGH!


Monday, January 26, 2009

WTF were they thinking?

Now I love me some "Purple One" but each morning, as I travel into work, the iPod pops this album cover up...and I can't help but giggle? Seriously, it never fails!

My Top 5 WTF moments:


5. Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie - Seriously...WTF???? I STILL don't think I...quite sure...understand? I don't even know?

4. Dave Chappelle Show ending - WHO saw that coming? My feelings are still hurt over that!

3. Being Bobby Brown - *giggles* That's bout it. I'm just gonna giggle!

2. Flava Flav gets women to fight over him - My ass can't find a decent guy SHITWHERE; however, Flava Flav has endless flocks of women fighting over him? Life is sooooo unfair!

...and #1 would have to be:

Terrance Howard sings! Thats it! Thats all! There ain't no more!

What makes you say WTF?